Thank You For Hearing Me

So Katy Perry had her Manila concert at the MOA grounds. Regin and I went there but not really to watch but just to listen outside the concert grounds, as did hundreds of people.

I regret having ruined the night of Regin with my temper. Needless to say we had a fight, with me doing most of the talking. Not really proud to have that “need” to always make a point, but at this point of our relationship - after all that had happened - I am learning to speak out. My silence before did us no good, perhaps this time around I can speak out. 

Firework

I posted this on the FB wall of Regin as a surprise but had to later remove it. He didn’t have any chance to see it as he was really busy and I didn’t want it on his wall anymore - clutter. I was sure he’d like the “surprise” on the second minute of the video. I hope he’d be able to watch it soon.

The Truth According to Philippine Movies/TV

A few days ago, I thought of how some stories in Philippine movies/TV have undeniable patterns in them. As sure as a child is kidnapped you’re sure to have a song-and-dance number by the beach as a celebration after a rescue. So this made me post numerous “observations” on my FB and I am compiling it here:

Kung susundin ang Filipino TV drama stories, ang tunay na sukatan ng pagmamahalan ng pamilyang Pilipino ay ang pagbubuklod habang nilulutas ang pagkikidnap sa anak ni Mommy at Daddy na kamakailan lang ay nagkagalit dahil sa kabit.

 

Kung susundin ang Filipino TV drama stories, magtiis ka lang kung naghihirap ka ngayon. Ilang sandali na lang matutuklasan na anak ka pala ng naka wheelchair na milyonaryo. Ingat ka nga lang sa sexy nyang pangalawang asawa, pahihirapan ka nyan bago mahulog sa bangin ang kotse nya habang pinagtatankaan ang buhay ng Papa mo.

 

Kung susundin ang Filipino TV drama, kahit nahiwalay ka sa pamilya mo pero guapo ang kasintahan mo, nagiging palaka ka. At kung ginintuan ang puso mo, nakakausap mo ang mga hayup.

 

Kung susundin ang Filipino TV drama at guapo ka, may diperensya naman ang pag-iisip mo.

 

Kung susundin ang pelikulang Pilipino, di mo mapapatay ang mga salbahe sa mundo kung wala kang baon na pagkahabahabang witty o malalim na sasabihin bago mo iputok ang baril mo. At walang talab ang bala mo sa isang manipis na tabla na pinagtataguan nya. Dapat naka leather jacket ka din kahit kalagitnaan ng summer.

These were posted individually and have gotten a lot of comments in my FB, some of them adding their observations. Here are some more:

Kung susundin ang Pinoy films, isang bala at punyal lang panalo ka sa duelo. 

Di lang yun, ang anak mo lang ang natatanging makakatawid ng linyang “Ang saging lang ang may puso!!”

 

 Kung susundin ang pelikulang Pilipino, wag ka magpapasalubong ng pancit (nanakabalot ng paper bag) para sa nanay mo. Uubo sya ng may dugo at lulubha ang sakit nya.

At si Lucita Soriano nanay mo!

Kung susundin ang pelikulang Pilipino at mayaman ka, palaging ang kotse mong 80s model ang natataon na gamit mo pag may masasamang loob na gigitgit sa iyo at babanggain ka. At lagi namang sa Antipolo o sa Neopolitan Fairview ka tatambangan. At di mo mamamalayan nasa Panay Avenue na kayo nagbabarilan.

Ibig sabihin kaya nyo magteleport.

Kung susundin ang pelikulang Pilipino, may kakambal ka!

Masama ugali mo at mayaman ka. Babait ka lang kasi magtatagpo kayo at matatauhan ka na nabiyayaan ka nga karangyaan. Magbabago ka at pagnagtagpo na kayo pareho kayo may problema sa mata. Kasi magkaharap na kayo parang nakatingin ka lang sa wala pag sya kausap mo. At di kayo naghahawak ng kamay. Imposible e.

Kung susundin ang pelikulang Pilipino at busilak ang puso mo at di ka makabasag pinggan, nasampal ka na ng tiyahin mo.

At alin man dito ang tiya mo, Odette Khan o Daria Ramirez.

At tumatanggap ka ng labahin kay Mrs. Chua. (Na ang asawa ay may pagnanasa sa iyo.)

 Kung susundin ulit ang pelikulang Pilipino, wag ka maglalaba o maliligo sa batis.

Dyan mo masisilayan ang unang Hapon na sumalakay sa ating bayan. At sa kasamaang palad, mukhang Pinoy pa.

How about you? You have observations, too?

Thank you

I seem to have lost a valued reader of my blog. 

I don’t really post much but a few months ago someone was reading my posts religiously. I felt elated as the reader seemed interested in what I was going through. Nowadays, this blog is just an occupant of cyberspace and a repository of my musings with that person probably not interested anymore. Sad.

But..

Because it’s all in the mind..

The melancholia comes from the fact that somewhere in the road we built for us, there’s a part we never shared the same memories. There’s a you that I didn’t get to know and there’s a you he exclusively knew. And there’s a me who was constantly a “problem” when you talked about our relationship before.

When you’re a person like me that puts a premium on shared experiences between partners,  you know how this could become unfair.

But it’s all in the mind, they say. Because it’s all in the mind, at least I get to tell you I have memories of my own you can’t reach and is exclusively mine - the pain I took and taking in just to make you happy. 

I’m really not..

 I’m not jealous, I just don’t like our recent past. 

And this is where you should meet me…

Meet me at my core.

Do not let me leave it, or forsake it. It has been my shelter during the hurting.

This is where I am right now…

Bachelor Girl - Treat Me Good

My frustration.

The years I worked on knowing a person gets all crashing down with the realization that you don’t know the person at all. Add to that is the same number of years knowing the person you invested in letting the person know you, having faith that the person will take care of what was made known. It’s letting the person in - only to be robbed of that little space you’ve been taking care of all your life.

I am getting to know you again. Get to know me, too. What changes you had the past three years is nothing compared to what changes I had undergone. 

I have this odd wish to know the person’s past. I am anal that way (smile). I try to let go of that need. In my mind, there is a need to do so for me to know the entire person. The wholeness. Oddly, too, I have this dead-end wish - to have been a part of that past. I know it’s pointless. Why couldn’t I just “move forward”?

I don’t know. Maybe because the past I was talking about belonged to me, yet I was out of the picture…

Ulan

I should have posted this a long time ago.

This video is a project of Zjazel Studios, owned by very good friends Romeo and Bebe Villegas. This is basically an idea of Arde (the lead actor here, and incidentally That’s My Boy 1987 1st runner up to Atong Redillas) and Jherlene Geliang. Almost every weekend we’d shoot music videos, record songs and poems (my Forever poem was recorded and shot there - that post is buried deep down in this blog). 

Arde wanted to shoot a short film. He didn’t have a script when he said he wanted to shoot. So breakfast with Bebe and Romeo and the lead actress, who was celebrating her birthday that day, they came up with an idea. 

This is the idea that became a short film.

Never leave your partner..

So come back to the light
To the love, you will find
It’s been here all along.

So come back to the start
And you’ll find in your heart
That you always belonged
To Me.

From the film, Fireproof.