I am in misery.
For when I am in misery
The poem ceases to be
Words crafted and chiseled
From abstracted thought.
The poem begins to be me.
August 31, 2000
4.41 pm, Thursday
From the desire of being loved…
October 1, 2011Today, I amused myself with an animated series, Penguins of Madagascar.
Because today, I wondered again, how I can stop hurting someone with my doubts. And just thinking about how these doubts are getting in the way of my, as John Mayer would say, “perfectly lonely” life is making me all gloomy as the weather (a typhoon Quiel is it?).
On my walk home from work, I tried to revisit how I usually was the same period last year - take those walks with the Lord.
And I just had to ask the Lord to make my heart like His - full of forgiveness. That if I can ask forgiveness from Him, I would have to learn to forgive as well.
There is no way to deal with my doubts except by humility.
Here’s a prayer I found online that helped me a lot during my break up, and I’d like to share it here. And I hope I can pray it as often as I can especially now.
It’s the Litany of Humility. You can find it here, too.
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
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