I am in misery.
For when I am in misery
The poem ceases to be
Words crafted and chiseled
From abstracted thought.
The poem begins to be me.
August 31, 2000
4.41 pm, Thursday
And this is where you should meet me…
October 21, 2011Meet me at my core.
Do not let me leave it, or forsake it. It has been my shelter during the hurting.
This is where I am right now…
Bachelor Girl - Treat Me Good
My frustration.
The years I worked on knowing a person gets all crashing down with the realization that you don’t know the person at all. Add to that is the same number of years knowing the person you invested in letting the person know you, having faith that the person will take care of what was made known. It’s letting the person in - only to be robbed of that little space you’ve been taking care of all your life.
I am getting to know you again. Get to know me, too. What changes you had the past three years is nothing compared to what changes I had undergone.
I have this odd wish to know the person’s past. I am anal that way (smile). I try to let go of that need. In my mind, there is a need to do so for me to know the entire person. The wholeness. Oddly, too, I have this dead-end wish - to have been a part of that past. I know it’s pointless. Why couldn’t I just “move forward”?
I don’t know. Maybe because the past I was talking about belonged to me, yet I was out of the picture…
